Character building or Values teaching?

Can values be taught? How about character development? In recent month, there has been some debate in the newspapers regarding issues of parents sending their children to 'character classes' organised by various private organisation. The questions we've often been asked are: Where does responsibility of inculcating values lie? On the shoulders of teachers in school or parents? Can character be taught with a fixed curriculum? Is character development taught explicitly or does it involve implicit teaching? 

If you want to know our answers to these questions, you can find them below: 

(1) Parents as Key Influencers

It’s often been said that parents are a child’s first teacher. As parents, we have a key role in forming the attitudes that our children take away from their upbringing. Parents are key influencers whose actions help children understand that everything we do impacts others. Influencing their view of the world and helping them understand the reasons behind the behaviour shapes their mindset. Parents cannot run away from being a child's biggest influence in shaping their own world. This influence is not being taught explicitly to the child but, more often, are values implicitly imparted through behaviours, words and environment. 

(2) Make Values come Alive 

In daily interactions with our children, we give children their first glimpses of values such as honesty, generosity, fairness, respect, integrity, sincerity and courage by virtue of our actions. The most powerful and lasting lessons about character are taught when the price of doing the right thing is high. Building character and inculcating positive values is not an academic undertaking but needs to be relevant to the lives and experiences of our children. By talking about character and making choices in situations that our children have been in, these intrinsic values can be further enhanced in our lives on a regular basis.

(3) Values in the Real World

Character development should be active and involve the children in real decision making that has real consequences, such as teaching responsibility through taking care of a pet or plants, allocating money from an allowance or sharing daily household tasks with family members. These are ‘teachable’ moments which come alive in our daily interactions with our children. The values that are being inculcated in the real world serves to be more meaningful to a child as these values are being practised and applied on a regular basis. With frequent and consistent application of these values, habitual actions are formed. And these positive habits shape the child's character and determine the future that holds bright for the child. 

(4) Positive Affirmation from Parents

When we give our children love, affirmation, moral guidance and the courage to love them enough to discipline them, children see a world that makes sense, feel secure and the bonds of trust grow strong. Shaping attitudes and influencing characters are lifelong and conscious processes that have to begin from home. 

Surviving the Exam Phenomenon - Embrace the Fear

Exam period can be filled with moments of joy or symptoms of chills, headaches, fever, stomachache, sleeplessness, distraction, etc. It is a period when children and adults alike feel 'feverish' with anticipation and exhilaration intermittently. 


When not managed appropriately, a child may appear overwhelmed by its presence. We often hear stories from parents of how their kids 'struggle' while others find the exam periods 'stressful', 'scary' and 'challenging'. We feel for both parents and children. We understand and acknowledge that it is tough to be a parent nowadays. Is there, then, a better way of handling this perpetual issue of examination fear?


Handle the Exams before it Handles you


Why do some parents appear unaffected by this 'feverish phenomenon' while others do. The answer simply lies in their attitude and mindset. With a 'champion' mindset, some parents and children have successfully transcended the level of 'fear' into another level of 'joy', 'peace', and 'openness'.


It's a simple concept, really. These parents (and ourselves, included) view school life and education to be more than just tests, exams and results. We do not deny that results play a crucial element in a child's school life, but is not the most important factor in determining a child's success in life. Outstanding results open doors for the child to progress efficiently and effectively. But those results do not determine the child's future. The child's positive future is established through positive attitude, discipline, continuous effort, determination and willingness. Allow us to share with you some tips in embracing this 'champion' attitude which will in turn, diminish the 'fear' effect.


4 Workable Tips - Positive Exam Mindset


(1) Emphasise the journey, not the destination
As parents, we'd need to emphasise the journey itself, the process that needs to be accomplished for our kids to achieve the positive results that they want. Not the results, but the PROCESS. You can't obtain an excellent product if the process is blemished. You cannot accomplish your goals if the route to that goal is full of pot-holes. When we place emphasis on the process, our children will be trained to look at their mistakes as a feedback and learning experience. They learn to be independent learners who are always willing to grow and develop themselves.


(2) View assessments, tests, and exams as 'checkpoints' 
Assessments, tests and exams are merely tools or 'checkpoints' in children's life journey that will help them in re-evaluating their processes - to reflect on the strategies used, the attitude adopted and to establish if there are any areas that they'd need to improve further. This is what we, as parents, should be focusing on. Life is all about work in progress. Therefore, these 'checkpoints' in schools should serve just that. When children and parents treat exams as merely a yardstick to see how well their processes have been, they eradicate the fear for tests or exams. In fact, they will begin to embrace it. And so will you as parents.


(3) Create a happy learning experience
Kids who are doing very well in school share similar traits. They are simply HAPPY learning. They know that they are sent to school to learn as much as they want. And learning doesn't stop at 1.30pm or after exam is over. Learning continues outside the classroom and beyond exams. When a child experiences a happy learning journey, he/she would be intrinsically motivated to learn simply for the joy of it, and not just to pass their exams. They view learning as a 24/7 experience and is excited by that experience.


(4) Use alternative strategies to produce better results
We want our kids to understand that their potential is limitless, and in order for them to accomplish anything in this world, it's through positive thinking, belief and action! If your child works hard but is still getting the same results, it does not mean that he/she is weak nor stupid. It just means that you, together with the child, needs to re-examine the strategies used and decide if the learning strategies needs to be changed and make it more appropriate to your child's learning styles. If the same strategies used have been producing the same results, then perhaps it's time for us to CHANGE those strategies.


To all parents out there, believe in yourself and your child. "What we believe, we shall see. What we feel, we shall experience." We wish you and your child every success in planning a joyful learning journey with positive outcomes. :)