Character building or Values teaching?

Can values be taught? How about character development? In recent month, there has been some debate in the newspapers regarding issues of parents sending their children to 'character classes' organised by various private organisation. The questions we've often been asked are: Where does responsibility of inculcating values lie? On the shoulders of teachers in school or parents? Can character be taught with a fixed curriculum? Is character development taught explicitly or does it involve implicit teaching? 

If you want to know our answers to these questions, you can find them below: 

(1) Parents as Key Influencers

It’s often been said that parents are a child’s first teacher. As parents, we have a key role in forming the attitudes that our children take away from their upbringing. Parents are key influencers whose actions help children understand that everything we do impacts others. Influencing their view of the world and helping them understand the reasons behind the behaviour shapes their mindset. Parents cannot run away from being a child's biggest influence in shaping their own world. This influence is not being taught explicitly to the child but, more often, are values implicitly imparted through behaviours, words and environment. 

(2) Make Values come Alive 

In daily interactions with our children, we give children their first glimpses of values such as honesty, generosity, fairness, respect, integrity, sincerity and courage by virtue of our actions. The most powerful and lasting lessons about character are taught when the price of doing the right thing is high. Building character and inculcating positive values is not an academic undertaking but needs to be relevant to the lives and experiences of our children. By talking about character and making choices in situations that our children have been in, these intrinsic values can be further enhanced in our lives on a regular basis.

(3) Values in the Real World

Character development should be active and involve the children in real decision making that has real consequences, such as teaching responsibility through taking care of a pet or plants, allocating money from an allowance or sharing daily household tasks with family members. These are ‘teachable’ moments which come alive in our daily interactions with our children. The values that are being inculcated in the real world serves to be more meaningful to a child as these values are being practised and applied on a regular basis. With frequent and consistent application of these values, habitual actions are formed. And these positive habits shape the child's character and determine the future that holds bright for the child. 

(4) Positive Affirmation from Parents

When we give our children love, affirmation, moral guidance and the courage to love them enough to discipline them, children see a world that makes sense, feel secure and the bonds of trust grow strong. Shaping attitudes and influencing characters are lifelong and conscious processes that have to begin from home.